Engineering is considered to be a lucrative job in India, which is then followed by Medicine. Before I found my Mr. Right, my parents had my name registered in a lot of matrimonial. Every week, there would be a gathering wherein eligible brides and grooms would give way their detailed information.
Most importantly, every girl wanted to have an ‘software engineer’ or a ‘doctor’ groom and they were in utmost demand. I never wanted to marry a doctor because I had seen my father’s hectic schedule but fortunately my husband is a software engineer. However, with time, I found out that marrying a software engineer is not at all rosy. So, I am listing some of the pros and cons of marrying a software engineer. Let’s see how!
What are the cons of marrying a software engineer?
In this tussle of pros and cons of marrying a software engineer, let’s first start with the cons!
1. Our paying guest
My husband is our paying guest or roommate. He comes home only to sleep. He leaves for his office in the morning when I am super busy and returns home late at night when I am asleep.
Even if I decide to stay awake till late at night, I can’t speak because I am in a limbo state. And forget about weekends. Software engineers are too lazy to get up from their beds.
2. Coding on his mind
Forget talking on weekdays because it’s all about coding! Several times, when my husband wakes up early, and we are sipping our morning tea, he goes blank. Reason?
He is thinking about a code that needs to be rectified. Moreover, when a project manager or a friend calls, they eventually land up talking about code. Above all, code plays an integral part while partying too. So, even I am completely aware of several processes and development??
3. No time management
I don’t understand how these guys manage to work for 12-13 hours straight. Nevertheless, they forget to have food on time too. My husband gets back tiffin home several times, giving an excuse – NO TIME TO EAT. I know work is important, but you must spend time eating, sleeping, resting, and exercising. But they will never learn!
4. People want job reference
This is a good as well as a bad part. I feel good that my husband gets importance, but the sad part is that they keep troubling me to follow up with my husband. I have gotten calls from cousins, nephews, and nieces who I haven’t spoken to me in decades.
Furthermore, I’ve even got calls from people I am not directly related to; isn’t that sad? Asking for references is cool, but there should also be viable job openings. Most importantly, who will take the risk to speak about all this with husband in his busy schedule?
5. You have to undertake their personal work
When we applied for a home loan, my husband was in semi-invisible mode. I was literally running from pillar to post gathering documents and meeting people. He was present when his attendance was needed.
I won’t blame him directly because he had meetings in the office that couldn’t be canceled at the last moment. And reaching late to the office is like working on a night shift altogether. So, it was favorable for me to undertake the work myself.
But when he was working from home and I was in the office, tables turned.
6. They’ll never answer their phones
My husband needs to improve when it comes to answering the phones. He assists a senior/junior in the office, busy in a meeting or taking up a conference call. It doesn’t matter your message’s importance; he will never answer.
Not just this, he hardly checks his message or WhatsApp. Sometimes I have dropped emails onto his official mail id and then received a reply. Not just this, but I have troubled his colleagues, too, to know about his whereabouts.
7. A tea-lover
One element that forms an integral part of the schedule of a software engineer is – a smoke break and tea break. I have visited my husband’s office several times and seen a never-ending rush at the small tea joint (tapri).
This place literally becomes a point of discussion of their woes, software development issues, venting out frustration and so on and so forth. While doing this, there’s no count on tea/smokes, and I wonder how rich the chaiwallahs (tea vendors) have become by now!
8. Weekday party-pooper
I can’t even think of having a party on weekdays. My husband promises a certain time period but never turns up. And if he does, then he is busy working on the laptop or making continuous phone calls.
Imagine, on the day of our housewarming, my husband absconded for good 2-3 hours; it was surely a frustrating sight! Instead, I prefer going alone nowadays, and people who are well aware of his schedule don’t expect him to be present at all.
9. Plan your outings at least 2-3 months prior
This is a very crucial decision. If we want to plan an outing, we have to plan it at least 2-3 months prior because my husband has to plan his work accordingly. He has abundant holidays left, but when he is into an ongoing project, then you literally have to bid farewell to all the family outings and functions.
Even a weekend trip has to be planned a month before. I feel sad that he misses some treasured moments.
What are the pros of marrying a software engineer?
Every coin has two sides, so there are perks to marrying a software engineer. Let’s see what they are!
1. They are very practical
When I am caught in some puddle, I think too emotionally and might make some hasty decisions. However, my husband is very sorted. He knows precisely what should be the next plan of action. He is emotional, but he knows how to tackle the situation. He always takes a practical approach, thinking about all the possibilities and then deciding.
2. They have a lot of patience, like literally a lot
They have survived engineering and tackle their bosses daily, so they have a lot of patience. I mean, I see my husband – he knows his boss might be wrong or even the team members, but he will explain them adequately. Forget about them; he handles me well.
I have a hyperactive, aggressive persona, but he stays calm when I am angry. Even when he receives a call for job postings or references, my husband answers them calmly.
P.S. sometimes that also makes me angry 😉
3. They are financial planners
My husband is a big-time financial planner. He spends like crazy. He shops more than me, but his financial knowledge is top-notch. He keeps guiding me about my finances and savings. Which policy is better, which will give you returns – he knows everything. Besides, he keeps a track of all my policies and insurance.
4. They are deep readers and thinkers
They have to go through lines of code and think deeply to develop a solution. Due to this, they have the upper hand in reading. Without deep reading, they cannot come up with a solution, and the same thing they do for current news, financial news, etc., thus, making them knowledgeable. Inform them about a piece of news; they validate by reviewing references and reading every point.
5. They are an idol for giving guidance
I am often confused about my decision, and that’s when my husband steps in to clear my confusion. He guides me skillfully with personal and professional decisions, and I adore him entirely for this. Before making any decision, I consult him without fail. I know people will question – aren’t you independent? But I like taking his guidance, and it’s my personal choice.
6. They are ambitious
I have seen several software engineers are very ambitious, including my husband. They are goal-driven and concise about what they wish to do with their future. Besides, they know about current events, so their planning is top-notch.
On a parting note
This is my take on the pros and cons of marrying a software engineer. It is frustrating sometimes, but I also feel sorry for these techies. They have crucial deadlines, competition, and grades; to rise above these factors, they have to slog like crazy.
This case is not just limited to male employees, but female employees too face severe consequences as they have to strike a balance between home and work. I hope the IT sector notes this crazy culture and works for the betterment of its employees!
Besides, you might have a different outlook altogether. Do share your viewpoint because your take might help me too!