Saga Of Being A Software Engineer’s Wife!

Engineering is considered to be a lucrative job in India, which is then followed by Medicine. Before I found my Mr. Right, my parents had my name registered in a lot of matrimonials. Every week, there would be a gathering wherein eligible brides and grooms would give way their detailed information. Most importantly, every girl wanted to have an ‘software engineer’ or a ‘doctor’ groom and they were in utmost demand. I never wanted to marry a doctor because I had seen my father’s hectic schedule but fortunately my husband is a software engineer. However, with time, I found out that marrying a software engineer is not at all rosy.

• Our Paying Guest

  My husband is literally our paying guest or roommate. He comes home only to sleep. He leaves for his office in the morning when I am super busy and gets back home late at night when I am asleep. Even if I decide to stay awake till late night, I can’t speak because I am in a limbo state. And forget about weekends, software engineers are too lazy to get up from their bed.

• Coding On His Mind

  Forget talking on weekdays, because it’s all about coding ??. Several times, when my husband wakes up early and we are sipping our morning tea, he goes blank. Reason? He is thinking about a code that needs to be rectified. Moreover, when a project manager or a friend calls, eventually they land up talking about code. Above all, code plays an integral part while partying too. So, by now even I am completely aware about several processes and development??

• No Time Management

  I really don’t understand how these guys manage to work for 12-13 hours? Nevertheless, they forget to have food on time too. Several times, my husband gets back tiffin home, giving an excuse – NO TIME TO EAT. I know work is important, but you really need to spend some time for eating, sleeping, resting, fitness. But they will never learn!

• People Want Job Reference

  This is a good as well as a bad part. I feel good that my husband gets importance, but sad part is that they keep troubling me to follow up with my husband. In the last 2 years, I have gotten calls from cousins, nephews, nieces who I haven’t spoken to in decades. Furthermore, I’ve even got calls from people who I am not directly related to, isn’t that sad? Asking for reference is completely cool, but for that there should be viable job openings too. Most importantly, who will take the risk to speak all this with husband in his busy schedule?

• You Have To Undertake Their Personal Work

  When we were applying for a home loan, my husband was in a semi-invisible mode. I was literally running from pillar to post gathering documents and meeting people. He was present when his attendance was needed. I won’t blame him directly, because he had meetings lined up in the office, which couldn’t be cancelled at the last moment. And reaching late to office is like working in a night shift altogether. So, it was favourable for me to undertake the work myself.

• They’ll Never Answer Their Phones

  My husband is bad when it comes to answering the phones. Either he is assisting a senior/junior in office or is busy in a meeting or taking up a conference call. It doesn’t matter how important your message is, he will never answer. Not just this, he hardly checks his message or WhatsApp. There are times, I have literally dropped mails onto his official mail id and then received a reply. Not just this, but I have troubled his colleagues too, to know about his whereabouts.

• A Tea-Lover

  One element that forms an integral part in the schedule of a software engineer is – a smoke break and tea break. I have paid visits at my husband’s office a couple of times and I have seen never-ending rush at the small tea joint (tapri). This place literally becomes a point of discussion of their woes, software development issues, venting out frustration and so on and so forth. While doing this, there’s no count on tea/smokes and I wonder how rich the chaiwalas (tea vendor) have become by now!

• Weekday Party-Pooper

  I can’t even think of having a party on weekdays. My husband promises a certain time period, but never turns up. And if he does, then he is busy working on the laptop or on continuous phone calls. Imagine, on the day of our house-warming, my husband was absconding for good 2-3 hours, it was surely a frustrating sight! Instead, I prefer going alone now-a-days and people who are well aware of his schedule, don’t expect him to be present at all.

• Plan Your Outings At Least 2-3 Months Prior

  This is a very crucial decision. If we want to plan an outing, we have to plan it at least 2-3 months prior because my husband has to plan his work accordingly. He has abundant holidays left, but when he is into an ongoing project, then you literally have to bid adieu to all the family outings and functions. Even a weekend trip has to be planned a month before. I feel sad that he misses on some treasured moments.

It is frustrating sometimes, but I also feel sorry for these techies. They have crucial deadlines, competition, gradings and to rise above these factors, they have to slog like crazy. This case is not just limited to male employees but female employees too face severe consequences as they have to strike a balance between home and work. I just hope, the IT sector makes a note of this crazy culture and work for the betterment of their employees!